After Qatar Gift Scandal, Russia Steps In to Revamp White House IT System

This is satire... until everything actually unfolds.

After news broke on Sunday Qatar proposed giving the United States a $400 million luxurious large aircraft as a present for Donald Trump, causing other nations to promptly declare their desire to show similar appreciation to the U.S. President.

For instance, Vladimir Putin declared that his administration would supply the White House with an entirely new Russian-manufactured IT system.

The Podzornaya Trubа system will guarantee that only those for whom it is designed will have access to sensitive data, including Ukraine’s defense strengths," stated the Russian president. "This tool must be utilized openly by anyone without worrying about security.

Not to be outdone, China said it had developed an app for senior officials that it was gifting to the United States.

We were deeply troubled that the dishonest U.S. media gave so much attention to the disclosure that a reporter was included in a chat thread where military operations were talked about," stated Chinese President Xi Jinping. "Nonetheless, this incident indicates that using the Signal app for communication might not be ideal.

Hence, the President of China mentioned that Beijing’s cyber security group had created an application exclusively for officials from the Trump administration.

"Share Everything with Us is an application that will elevate U.S.-Chinese relations to unprecedented heights, and we are pleased to offer it free of charge to President Trump," Xi stated.

Various presents were also provided by other nations.

The Iranian government said it would be willing to remake the interior of the Oval Office and replace the faux gold decorations that Trump has installed with real gold.

It goes without saying that the President of America has a penchant for gold and should have nothing but the finest," stated Supreme Leader Ali Hosseini Khamenei. "Consequently, the interior decorators from the Islamic Revolutionary Guard Corps will transform the Oval Office into an opulent chamber worthy of royalty, all without burdening the American taxpayers.

In the meantime, Israel said it would make a butler from the Mossad’s concierge service available to Trump 24/7.

“They will never be out of earshot,” Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu said. “So my good friend Donald just has to say the word and someone will be there to listen… like Siri, just Israeli.”

When asked whether they would provide any goods or services to Trump, the Taliban stated that they got everything they wanted from him.

“ Nope, we’re all set,” stated the group’s leader, Hibattullah Akhundzada.

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After Trump’s Qatar G(r)ift: Russia Offers to Remake White House IT System originally appeared on CryptoScope Daily